TUG MCGRAW - January 5

Pitched his last tugjob.
__________________________________________________

SPALDING GRAY - January 10

Successful molester, bad swimmer.
__________________________________________________

RON O'NEAL - January 14

From Superfly to being eaten by flies.
__________________________________________________

ANN MILLER - January 22

One of the original hottie hoofers.
__________________________________________________

BOB KEESHAN - January 23

Captain Kangaroo and Clarabelle Clown, goodbye to you both -
and thanks for the silly memories.
__________________________________________________

JACK PAAR - January 27

Oh, he's plugged in a plot - I kid you not.
__________________________________________________

JAN "MADGE" MINER - February 15

From Madge for Palmolive to Madge for pallbearers.
That graveyard dampness? You're soaking in it!
__________________________________________________

MERCEDES MCCAMBRIDGE - March 2

Another Exorcist voice is stilled in the spooky night.
__________________________________________________

JAN BERRY - March 26

Dean's singing partner (right)
hits dead man's curve... again.
(Bad year to be named Jan.)
__________________________________________________

PETER USTINOV - March 28

Used to act good enough.
__________________________________________________

ALISTAIR COOKE - March 30

He's getting well-cooked, alright!
__________________________________________________

ESTEE LAUDER - April 24

Now she's funeral fodder.
__________________________________________________

HUBERT SELBY JR. - April 26

Last Exit To Burial.
__________________________________________________

ALAN KING - May 9

In the stand-up comedy world, he always lived up to his last name.
__________________________________________________

TONY RANDALL - May 17

Had two kids even in his '70s?
Guess he was straight after all!
__________________________________________________

RONALD REAGAN - June 5

Ronnie Raygun, we knew ye much too well
Keep being a stool pigeon, this time in Hell
__________________________________________________

RAY CHARLES - June 10

Hit the road, Jack. And you too, Ray.
__________________________________________________

MARLON BRANDO - July 2

Angel Kazan gave him an offer he couldn't refuse.
__________________________________________________

ISABEL SANFORD - July 12

Well, she's movin' on up again -
this time to the north side.
__________________________________________________

FRANCIS CRICK - July 28

From DNA to DOA. (AKA up shit crick.)
__________________________________________________

RICK JAMES - August 6

From super-freak to super-funeral.
__________________________________________________

GYPSY BOOTS - August 8

Head honcho of hippies finally broke HIS hip.
__________________________________________________

FAY WRAY - August 8

Whatever happened to...? Now we know.
(King Kong sent flowers.)
__________________________________________________

JULIA CHILD - August 13

Wait... is this just Dan Aykroyd messing around again?
__________________________________________________

ELMER BERNSTEIN - August 18

Movie music hack? Sure, but he was no Al Newman.
__________________________________________________

ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS - August 24

We'll be waiting for that firsthand report about being dead, babe.
__________________________________________________

LAURA BRANIGAN - August 26

Won't be back again.
__________________________________________________

JOHNNY RAMONE - September 15

He got in on the special Ramones graveyard group rate.
__________________________________________________

MARVIN MITCHELSON - September 18

Inventor of palimony suits now wearing his final one.
__________________________________________________

RUSS MEYER - September 18

(Shown with the always erotic Edy Williams.)
Another heir to the Meyer wienie fortune,
currently exploring the last Valley Of The Ultra-Perverts.
__________________________________________________

SKEETER DAVIS - September 19

Now it really is the "IND" of this whiney country singer's world.
__________________________________________________

RICHARD AVEDON - October 1

Bitch has a' gone.
Now developing in a permanent darkroom.
__________________________________________________

JANET LEIGH - October 3

Psycho shower chick
is much more than sick.
__________________________________________________

GORDON COOPER - October 4

Astronaut who took trips to space
now occupies an astro turf place.
__________________________________________________

RODNEY DANGERFIELD - October 5

Oh, sure... NOW he gets some respect!
__________________________________________________

CHRISTOPHER REEVE - October 10

Had more courage than most would believe.
__________________________________________________

PIERRE SALINGER - October 16

Former advisor to JFK
is also now dead today.
__________________________________________________

HOWARD KEEL - November 7

No longer on an even keel.
Keel-hauled.
Keeled over.
(Okay, that should do it.)
__________________________________________________

YASSER ARAFAT - November 11

That fat ugly old kitchen
tablecloth-wearing bum shoulda
dropped dead 20 years ago?
Yassir!
__________________________________________________

OLD DIRTY BASTARD - November 13

ODB? He done got squashed like a flea.
Hey, I'm rappin'!
__________________________________________________

JOHN BARRYMORE JR. - November 29

Jerk don't breath anymore.
(Sorry, Drew baby.)
__________________________________________________

SUSAN SONTAG - December 27

So-so writer hag
tryin' on a toe tag.
__________________________________________________

JERRY ORBACH - December 28

Lennie Briscoe is one fried brisket.
__________________________________________________

ARTIE SHAW - December 30

His swing band inspired awe.
Actual appropriate title to one of his books:
"I Love You, I Hate You, Drop Dead!"
That's what we call the perfect
sign-off for the year!
__________________________________________________

= WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR THIS YEAR, FOLKS! BUT STAY TUNED - YOU KNOW THE GRIM REAPER AIN'T DONE WITH THOSE CELEBS YET! MEANWHILE, ON THE UPPER RIGHT YOU CAN ALWAYS CHECK OUT THE
LIST OF LATE LAMENTED LAYABOUTS FROM OTHER YEARS! ENJOY! =