JOHNNY GRANT - January 9

The Honorary Mayor of Hollywood is now surrounded by wood.
________________________________________

EDMUND HILLARY - January 11

Oh, ya? Bet you can't even climb outta that dinky little grave, hotshot!
________________________________________

CARL KARCHER - January 11

Carl's Jr. now has one less hamburger in their office to worry about.
________________________________________

BRAD RENFRO - January 15

He was in Ghost World, so... okay, you know the drill.
(That pic of him is from an actual recent heroin bust in L.A.)
________________________________________

BOBBY FISCHER - January 17

Searching for him?
Why? He's right here in this ditch, you dummies!
________________________________________

JOHN STEWART - January 19

The wormies out there are turnin' Stewart into mold.
________________________________________

SUZANNE PLESHETTE - January 19

Always put us in a sweat.
(Too bad she was batting for the other team.)
________________________________________

HEATH LEDGER - January 22

Another star-studded druggie overdoses,
and this time we're not being jokers about it.
Hey, sometimes you have to wonder if their local
pharmacies hang their pictures up on their walls!
________________________________________

MAHARISHI MAHESH YOGI - February 5

Apparently no relation to Yogi Berra.
Hey, now Mike Myers is free to release that
really insulting Love Guru movie about him. Hooray!
________________________________________

ROY SCHEIDER - February 10

From Blue Thunder to six feet under.
(And we don't mean the TV show.)
________________________________________

DAVID GROH - February 12

Groh, who played the hubby of Ro, don't grow no mo!
________________________________________

BUDDY MILES - February 26

And miles to go, Buddy sleeps.
________________________________________

WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY - February 27

National Review this, you creeping conservative little crud!
________________________________________

JEFF HEALEY - March 2

Now he's the worms' mealie.
________________________________________

NORMAN "HURRICANE" SMITH - March 3

These days he's just a little drip.
________________________________________

ARTHUR C. CLARKE - March 19

Well, he almost made it for real to his 2010 - the year we make contact.
________________________________________

RICHARD WIDMARK - March 24

Laughing while pushing an old lady down the stairs, huh?
Well, you sure ain't laughin' now, psycho boy
________________________________________

CHARLTON HESTON - April 5

It's off the planet and back to the zoo for that damn dirty gun-nut!
Oh, and pry that gat from your cold, dead hand? Mission accomplished!
________________________________________

IRV ROBBINS - May 5

I scream, you scream, we all scream
that Baskin Robbins ice cream...
always cost way too much.
________________________________________

EDDY ARNOLD - May 8

He became a music legend long before all those stupid
"all black cowboy hat and no cowboy" bums showed up.
________________________________________

DICK MARTIN - May 24

And the Fickle Finger Of Fate points
to yet another fresh Laugh-In grave.
Say hi to Dan Rowan for us, you Dick.
________________________________________

SYDNEY POLLACK - May 26

Maybe he got his architect pal Frank Gehry
to design him a really goofy-looking coffin.
________________________________________

HARVEY KORMAN - May 29

Now he's on the floor, man.
________________________________________

YVES ST. LAURENT - June 1

If being a "saint" was really in the universal design for you,
now's your chance to prove it, you wimpy whack job.
________________________________________

MEL FERRER - June 2

Brother of Jose, and father of Miguel.
We'd love to see the bills for
some of those family reunions.
________________________________________

BO DIDDLEY - June 2

Bo Diddley we no longer got.
Bo Diddley's in a funeral plot.
Don't go, Bo Diddley!
Don't go, Bo Diddley!

(Repeat a hundred more times.)
________________________________________

JIM MCKAY - June 7

Fate took his sports mic away.
________________________________________

TIM RUSSERT - June 13

Yet another fat, overpaid TV news guy bites the dust.
Didn't he also invent russert potatoes?
________________________________________

CYD CHARISSE - June 17

Someone cancelled this dance chick's lease.
________________________________________

GEORGE CARLIN - June 22

No longer snarlin'.
________________________________________

JESSE HELMS - July 4

Was he the founder of Helms Bakery?
If so, he only sold white bread!
________________________________________

MICHAEL DEBAKEY - July 11

A superb heart surgeon,
but still dead as a sturgeon.
________________________________________

BOBBY MURCER - July 12

Yet another Yankee yanked.
(Sorry, but we're Dodger fans.)
________________________________________

LES CRANE - July 13

Yet another TV talk show guy gets the crane.
He also dated Ginger from Gilligan's island.
(Sorry, but we're Mary Anne fans.)
________________________________________

ESTELLE GETTY - July 22

From Golden Girl to moldin' girl.
________________________________________

ALEKSANDER SOLZHENITSYN - August 3

Take a hike, you two-bit Tolstoy.
________________________________________

BERNIE MAC - August 9

Ain't comin' back.
Wow, the Obama people must've really
hated that recent comedy routine he did for them!
________________________________________

ISSAC HAYES - August 10

Ain't got no more days.
Wow, he just did Soul Man with Sam Jackson and Bernie Mac,
and Mac croaked yesterday. So watch out, Sammy baby!
________________________________________

JERRY REED - September 1

When you're old, you're old.
When you're cold, you're cold.

(And Jerry got to be both! Yee-hah!)
________________________________________

PAUL NEWMAN - September 26

Now back with George C. Scott hustling pool in Heaven.
________________________________________

NEAL HEFTI - October 11

Holy Grim Reaper, Batman!
Our TV theme song writer just kicked off!
________________________________________

MR. BLACKWELL - October 19

He'll get a real good look at that black well, now.
________________________________________

RUDY RAY MOORE - October 19

Now we have a whole lot less of Mr. Moore.
Which is a real drag, down to the core!
________________________________________

YMA SUMAC - November 1

Was she the world's best singer? You bet.
She found notes that no one had invented yet!
________________________________________

MICHAEL CRICHTON - November 4

Jurassic Parked.
________________________________________

PREACHER ROE - November 9

Yep, he's laid out in a neat little row, alright.
________________________________________

HERB SCORE - November 11

The score is zero, now.
________________________________________

MITCH MITCHELL - November 12

Bang the drum slowly for... another former Hendrix drummer.
________________________________________

ODETTA - December 2

Make that O-DEAD-A.
________________________________________

ROBERT PROSKY - December 8

He's feeling overly-frosty.
________________________________________

BETTIE PAGE - December 11

This pin-up queen was all the rage,
until she packed on too much age.
________________________________________

VAN JOHNSON - December 12

He's parked his Johnson in his Van for the last time.
________________________________________

W. MARK FELT - December 18

The first Deep Throat star who wasn't X-rated,
he caused Watergate to be hotly debated.
________________________________________

HAROLD PINTER - December 24

The Day The Hal Came Out To Play Tennis With The Grim Reaper.
(Of course Pinter lost.)
________________________________________

EARTHA KITT - December 25

Merry X-Mas, Catwoman - you're dead! Rowrrr!
________________________________________

= WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR THIS YEAR, FOLKS! BUT STAY TUNED - YOU KNOW THE GRIM REAPER AIN'T DONE WITH THOSE CELEBS YET! MEANWHILE, ON THE UPPER RIGHT YOU CAN ALWAYS CHECK OUT THE
LIST OF LATE LAMENTED LAYABOUTS FROM OTHER YEARS! ENJOY! =