SYDNEY OMARR - January 2

As per yesterday's New Year Resolution,
All Omarrs should stay in bed today.
(Syd kid, your Moon is in Uranus, or vice versa.)
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JEAN KERR - January 5

Please Don't Push Up The Daisies jokes? Nah, way too easy.
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MAURICE GIBB - January 12

Another Bee-Gee now ain't so glib.
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RICHARD CRENNA - January 17

Miss Brooks? Sugar Babe? Rambo? I'm finally dead!
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AL HIRSCHFELD - January 20

Caricature this, Mr. Sketchpad.
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BILL MAULDIN - January 22

Another cartoonist missing in action.
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NELL CARTER - January 23

She's gone to that cokehead star sitcom in the sky.
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JOHNNY PAYCHECK - February 18

Final paycheck squandered.
Wow, that sure was one ugly hick.
Take this jerk and shove him... into a grave.
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FRED "MISTER" ROGERS - February 27

Can you say "corpse," kids?
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EDWIN STARR - March 31

Dirt - what is it good for? To get buried under!
Ya! Don't say it again!
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"LITTLE" EVA BOYD - April 10

Now she's even littler.
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ROBERT "DIET" ATKINS - April 17

Now this diet is way too drastic.
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NOEL REDDING - May 12

Lately he's Noel Blueing.
(Ex-Hendrix bass player.)
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ROBERT STACK - May 14

Instead of stacked up, he's just laid flat out.
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JUNE CARTER CASH - May 15

Just Calmly Croaked.
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FREDDIE BLASSIE - June 02

He's floating on up that holy pencil-neck creek.
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DAVID BRINKLEY - June 11

He's no longer just on the brink.
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GREGORY PECK - June 12

Make that vultures' peck.
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HUME CRONYN - June 15

Hume should I say is kicking?
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LEON URIS - June 21

Exodus author turns ex-living being.
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LESTER MADDOX - June 25

Bigot goes boom-boom.
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STROM THURMOND - June 26

Another bigot goes boom-boom.
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KATHERINE HEPBURN - June 29

For cheatin' with Spencer Tracy,
Hep's burnin' in Hell like crazy.
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BUDDY HACKETT - June 30

He tried to keep living, but he couldn't hack it.
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BARRY WHITE - July 4

Make that Barry Blue.
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BUDDY EBSEN - July 6

Jethro, just bury him in the cement pond.
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JOHN SCHLESINGER - July 25

Another one who directed just got ejected.
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BOB HOPE - July 27

Hi, folks - this is Bob "100 years old" Hope.
And I just wanna say...uh... whoops! Croak!
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SAM PHILLIPS - July 30

Go and put it where the Sun session
don't shine, you crooked song-stealer.
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GREGORY HINES - August 9

Make that Hines, Hines And Dead.
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BOBBY BONDS - August 23

That's what we call shedding your bonds.
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CHARLES BRONSON - August 30

Geez, did this guy have, like, a death wish or something?
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WARREN ZEVON - September 7

Looks like he got his leave on.
And Lon Chaney Jr. was never even in
that film Werewolves Of London, you dummy.
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JOHN RITTER - September 11

Dead as a fritter.
One's company.
Jack Tripper takes his last trip.
From Hooperman to Pooperman.
Hearts Afire turns to frozen fishsticks.
8 Ways To Drop Dead As A Door Nail.
(Okay, maybe that was overkill.)
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JOHNNY CASH - September 12

Finally cashed in his chips.
He always wore black, and now he only sees black.
Wait - didn't his wife just croak less than
four months ago? Wow, that whole dang
family must be cashing out this year!
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GORDON JUMP - September 22

"I'm at double you, kay, are, pee, six feet uh-uhn-der."
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GEORGE PLIMPTON - September 25

The old Paper Tiger growls no more, I dare say.
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ROBERT PALMER - September 26

Simply indestructible... NOT.
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DONALD O'CONNOR - September 27

Another great hoofer shuffles off the stage.
That only leaves... that Lord of the Dance Guy?!
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ELIA KAZAN - September 28

The best director of the 1950s - just ask Brando.
And he ratted out commies that had already been ratted on.
(So he sugared Joe McCarthy's gas tank.)
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WALLY GEORGE - October 5

His daughter is movie skeezer Rebecca Demornay,
he was right winger Mayor Sam Yorty's lapdog for years,
then wifey left for another guy. Death = Wally's relief!
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WILLIE SHOEMAKER - October 12

Another jockey that finally stopped horsin' around.
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JACK ELAM - October 20

He's got those big eyes trained on some wings right now.
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FRED "RERUN" BERRY - October 21

Now let's see you do your
corny pop-locker bit, Rerun.
Oh, ya - no more reruns for you.
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ROD RODDY - October 27

Welcome to The Price Is Right! Come on... dead!
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BOBBY HATFIELD - November 5

He's lost that livin' feelin'!
(We've got "Unchained Medley"
saved for his big ape buddy Bill.)
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ART CARNEY - November 9

Let's see, first I'll address heaven. Hello, heaven!
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JONATHAN BRANDIS - November 12

Kid actor who starred in TV series Seaquest 2032, and the film Ladybugs.
(He joined Obits In Orbit's official Rope-A-Dope Club.)
[COD: Hanging.]
[Age: 27.]
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PENNY SINGLETON - November 12

(Same day as Jonathan Brandis.)
Blonnnnn-deeeeee?
Blonde dead!
(She joined Obits In Orbit's official 90 Plus Club.)
[Age: 95.]
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WARREN SPAHN - November 24

The main pitch here is that Warren's life Spahn is over.
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PAUL "SENATOR" SIMON - December 9

Crazy bow tie, crazy same name as a songwriter,
crazy cancer stories while running for Prez - just crazy.
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HOPE LANGE - December 19

Now TV's Mrs. Muir is really feeling
the true spirit of that horny sailor ghost!
(And it was a bad year for Hopes.)
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= WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR THIS YEAR, FOLKS! BUT STAY TUNED - YOU KNOW THE GRIM REAPER AIN'T DONE WITH THOSE CELEBS YET! MEANWHILE, ON THE UPPER RIGHT YOU CAN ALWAYS CHECK OUT THE
LIST OF LATE LAMENTED LAYABOUTS FROM OTHER YEARS! ENJOY! =