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Monday, December 31, 2001

2001


RAY WALSTON - January 1

My Favorite Martian made it to the 21st Century!
(Just by one day, but he still made it.)
__________________________________________________

LES BROWN - January 4

Is now six feet down.
__________________________________________________

GREGORY CORSO - January 17

Now he's dead, even more so.
(From left: Corso, Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs.)
__________________________________________________

DALE EVANS - February 7

Happy trails to you, too, cowgirl cutey,
and you also had a curvy booty.
__________________________________________________

HOWARD W. KOCH - February 16

Walter Matthau did a nice biography of him in Kotch.
__________________________________________________

WILLIAM H. MASTERS - Feb. 16

(Left to right - sex doctors Virginia Johnson, Wlilliam Masters.)
Ginnie just lost her Masters's Johnson.
__________________________________________________

DALE EARNHARDT SR. - February 18

THE INSIDE LANE-CHEATER
This crooked hick died blocking cars so his kid could win.
Neither of 'em did.
Now he's rotting away in hell for his stupid sin.
(That's why they don't call it "NICECAR.")
__________________________________________________

EDDIE MATHEWS - February 18

Wasted on the Braves hitting hundreds of homers.
Shoulda played for the Yanks or Dodgers - whatta gomer.
__________________________________________________

STANLEY KRAMER - February 19

This director was a holy rebel.
That's why he never feared the devil.
__________________________________________________

ROSEMARY DECAMP - February 20

Loved That Rose.
__________________________________________________

BILL RIGNEY - February 20

Former Angels manager joins the real angels.
But the Angels never won the Series
until after you died, dude.
__________________________________________________

WILLIAM HANNA - March 2

Say hi to Joey B. for us.
__________________________________________________

MORTON DOWNEY JR. - March 12

He also told the Grim Reaper to kiss his ass!
__________________________________________________

ROBERT LUDLUM - March 12

Another nauseating N.Y. Times List fiction fatty falls over.
(Now for Clancy, Koontz and Grisham.)
__________________________________________________

ANN SOTHERN - March 15

Hopefully her soul went northern.
__________________________________________________

"PAPA" JOHN PHILLIPS - March 18

Gone to give Cass a pat on the ass.
__________________________________________________

NORMA "HIGH VOICE" MACMILLAN - March 21

Was the voice of TV's Casper The Friendly Ghost, Gumby
and Sweet Polly Purebread of The Underdog Show. She was 79.
(COD: Heart attack.)
__________________________________________________

ED "BIG DADDY" ROTH - April 4

Make that Dead "Big Daddy" Roth, Car-Toons fans.
__________________________________________________

BROTHER THEODORE - April 5

Made even Professor Irwin Corey seem normal.
__________________________________________________

BEATRICE STRAIGHT - April 7

Now she's a bit too straight..
__________________________________________________

WILLIE STARGELL - April 9

Pirate finds treasure in heaven. Film at 11.
__________________________________________________

JOEY RAMONE - April 15

Rock-rock-rock,
rock-n-roll DIE school!
__________________________________________________

MICHAEL RITCHIE - April 16

Ain't bein' a dead director a bitchie?
(COD: Prostate cancer.)
__________________________________________________

HAPPY HAIRSTON - May 1

Still happy, smart guy?
__________________________________________________

CLIFF "NOTES" HILLEGASS - May 5

Didn't have your notes prepared for this, did ya?
__________________________________________________

DEBORAH WALLEY - May 10

Scratch one fake Gidget.
__________________________________________________

DOUGLAS ADAMS - May 11

So long, and thanks for all the hitch (hiking).
__________________________________________________

PERRY COMO - May 12

You can cancel his bromo.
__________________________________________________

JASON "EXORCIST PRIEST" MILLER - May 13

(Left, with Max Von Sydow.)
It's almost devilish how that ancient Sydow dude outlived him.
__________________________________________________

WHITMAN "GRADY" MAYO - May 22

One stiff Sidekick And Son actor.
And hold the... nevermind.
__________________________________________________

VICTOR KIAM - May 27

He liked hell so much he bought a condo there.
(With his relative Omar?)
__________________________________________________

ARLENE FRANCIS - May 31

What's My Flatline?
(From left: Francis, Bennett Cerf, Dorothy Kilgallen
and What's My Llne host John Charles Daly.)

__________________________________________________

HANK KETCHAM - June 1

Now even that li'l devil Dennis can't fetch 'im.
__________________________________________________

IMOGENE COCA - June 2

Looks like she's gone like a choke-ah.
And hail Caesar - he always pleased 'er.
__________________________________________________

ANTHONY QUINN - June 3

At last done in.
(Real tough to get roles, being
Selznick's son-in-law. huh, Tony baby?)
__________________________________________________

JOHN HARTFORD - June 4

Bluegrass songwriter, fiddle and banjo player
who wrote Gentle On My Mind.
He also founded the music genre of "Newgrass",
whatever the heck that means.
__________________________________________________

CARROLL O'CONNOR - June 21

Ah geez, looks like Archie's a goner.
__________________________________________________

JOHN LEE HOOKER - June 21

How, how, how, how - did a one-note weasel
like you stay alive for so damn long?
__________________________________________________

JACK LEMMON - June 27

Sour name, sweet actor.
__________________________________________________

CHET ATKINS - June 30

Now trying his guitar pick on a harp.
__________________________________________________

MIMI FARINA - July 18

Wife of Richard Farina and younger sister of Joan Baez.
Fine folk singer and humanitarian.
__________________________________________________

EUDORA WELTY - July 23

Now all those hideous welts don't matter.
Won the Pulitzer Prize for writing The Optimist’s Daughter.
We wonder if the daughter ever wrote back.
__________________________________________________

LORENZO MUSIC - August 4

This is Carlton, your deadman.
__________________________________________________

MAUREEN REAGAN - August 8

Just got a radio talk show syndicated in Helltown.
__________________________________________________

JANE GREER - August 24

Now you're in the black, film noir dear.
(No relation to Dabbs.)
__________________________________________________

CHRISTIAAN BARNARD - September 2

The heart doctor is in... heaven.
__________________________________________________

TROY DONAHUE - September 2

Boy Goner-blue.
__________________________________________________

JUSTIN "COOKIN' CAJUN" WILSON - September 6

Yep, he's one croaked cook - I gar-own-tee!
__________________________________________________

DOROTHY MCGUIRE - September 13

Doornail McGoner.
__________________________________________________

FRED DE CORDOVA - September 15

And so eternal night closes in on the former Tonight Show director.
__________________________________________________

SAMUEL Z. ARKOFF - September 16

He spooked the world and got off.
__________________________________________________

ISSAC STERN - September 22

This guy was always very dangerous -
a major cause of violins in the streets.
__________________________________________________

HERB BLOCK - October 7

The editorial toons of Herblock
cleaned many a crooked clock.
(Passed on at age 91, six weeks
after his last published cartoon.)
__________________________________________________

HERBERT ROSS - October 9

Heavy-hitting director - a true loss.
(Not a good week to be named Herb.)
__________________________________________________

KEN KESEY - November 10

One Flies Up To His Heavenly Nest.
__________________________________________________

BO BELINSKY - November 23

Bo's now pitching in an even lower place than usual.
__________________________________________________

GEORGE HARRISON - November 29

Currently recording for Dead Horse Records.
__________________________________________________

JOHN KNOWLES - November 29

A Separate Plot.
__________________________________________________

FOSTER BROOKS - December 20

Wow, that boring fake drunk finally ex-exp-expire...
(hic!) croaked!
__________________________________________________

NIGEL HAWTHORNE - December 26

Another big-shot Brit-twit actor bites it.
Care for another spot of funeral wake tea, old chap?
__________________________________________________

EILEEN HECKART - December 31

Deceased as heck skirt.
__________________________________________________

JULIA PHILLIPS - December 31

She'll Never Eat Peter At The Pearly Gates, Amen.
(Same day as Heckart.
Happy New Year, girls!)
__________________________________________________

= WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR THIS YEAR, FOLKS! BUT STAY TUNED - YOU KNOW THE GRIM REAPER AIN'T DONE WITH THOSE CELEBS YET! MEANWHILE, ON THE UPPER RIGHT YOU CAN ALWAYS CHECK OUT THE
LIST OF LATE LAMENTED LAYABOUTS FROM OTHER YEARS! ENJOY! =

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